Relearning to Receive: The Body’s Role in Intimacy and Connection

Many of us are far more practiced in giving than receiving.
We know how to hold space, anticipate needs, and offer comfort. We learned to stay attuned, sometimes hyper-attuned, to others as a way to stay safe, loved, or useful.

But receiving is different.
Receiving means letting our body soften enough to take in goodness: warmth, care, attention, nourishment, pleasure. For a nervous system shaped by unpredictability or neglect, that softness can feel dangerous.

It is one thing to want love. It is another to let it land.

In somatic work, I often see the moment someone’s body realizes it is safe to receive. The breath deepens. The shoulders drop a fraction. The eyes start to glisten. Sometimes tears come, not from sadness, but from the shock of safety.

To receive, the body must trust that what is coming will not cost it something.
That you will not owe anyone for their kindness.
That you will not disappear inside the act of connection.
That you can stay you while being met.

So we start small.
We practice noticing the warmth of sunlight on skin and actually letting it in.
We experiment with compliments, seeing if we can take one in without deflecting.
We let someone hold a door open and breathe through the urge to say, “You did not have to.”
We let the body register that it is okay to be cared for.

Receiving is not passive. It is vulnerable and alive.
It is the nervous system’s quiet yes, the heart’s widening, the body’s remembrance that it deserves to be met too.